October 31, 2003

Today, besides being Halloween - a holiday I don’t recognize in the first place, was Joel Kaufman’s birthday. Joel is 34 years old today. And he is awesome. He lives in Washington, DC now so I don’t get to experience his awesomeness that much anymore. At least not at close range. I called Joel today on the phone to wish him a happy birthday. His parent’s were visiting him. They had just eaten German food and were taking naps. This is excellent on so many levels that I can’t explain it properly. It is that excellent. Joel and I reminisced about how life was back in the day. I laughed with Joel. We talked about the future. All in all, Joel is one of my favorite people ever and I wish him tremendous ups on his birthday.

The Sinner and I headed out tonight to see Jamie from Boulder and the Chan’s new band Midnight at Peabody’s. They rocked. It was a good night. Hanging out with the Sinner is a good time. He is a wise man. Or maybe not so wise but he is not me or my immediate circle of friends so he offers a fresh perspective on my whole trip. That is what I need. A fresh perspective. A different voice. A point of view that is not my own. I get that from the Sinner.

posted by Thea at 11:17 PM

October 30, 2003

I am bored. I know that. I think I must be agitated too. I don’t feel right. My right arm hurts. My right hand is stiff from working the mouse all day because I lost my favorite red squeezing ball. I have a little cuts on my hands that I don’t know where they come from. The tips of my fingers are sore from me chewing my nails. I have no recollection of biting my nails at all but they hurt. I know it must have been me. It wasn’t you who bit them, was it? I woke up and did not feel like getting out of bed. That never happens. I didn’t want to write or go to work either. I was counting down the hours until I got out of the office from ten in the morning. Why? I didn’t have anything to do tonight. I was bored at home. Nobody wanted to go to the Dreadful Yawns with me. I made plans for tomorrow. I tried to make plans for the rest of the weekend. I need to do something. I need to either start running again or play the drums more often. I have too much physical energy that backs up inside of me if I don’t something. Walking a couple of miles a night is not doing it. I feel like I need to wear myself out. I need to do something.

posted by Thea at 9:40 PM

October 29, 2003

The French call it ennui. I call it walking around Lakewood, OH listening to the Smoking Popes “Destination Failure” on a broken Sony Discman where the volume will not lower or raise. It is pointless for me to mention that it is not loud enough.

Martha just told me that John Bonham was dead.

I called my voice mail at work from the home office before I went downtown this morning. I had three messages from when I left the office at 5:00 p.m. yesterday until 7:00 a.m. this morning. That’s not good. I do this because I hate walking into work and having phone messages to answer first thing. I don’t want to see that red light on my phone. I don’t want any surprises. From the time that I checked my messages until I walked into work, somebody called me. Damn it. I was a minute into the message before I realized that it was Jamie from Boulder pranking me.

I finished reading “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never do Again” by David Foster Wallace today. It is a travel narrative of DFW on a cruise ship. It is totally hysterical. His description of the despair that he felt on the cruise is one of the best things that I have ever read.

They evacuated part of the city that my brother lives in today. My brother still didn’t seem too worried about the fire. His son just called to thank Laurie and I for his birthday present. Justin, age nine, was not worried either. We talked about basketball. Justin, age nine, said that he roots for the Sacramento Kings second. His uncle Chris, age 31, agreed that the Kings were his second team too. I asked Justin who his first team was. Justin, age nine, said the Lakers. I was well into ripping the Lakers when I remembered that I was arguing with a nine year old. I am proud to say that even though I was arguing about basketball with a nine year old, I remembered to watch my language. The worst I said was crap.

Even though I don't think that the NBA season should start until this weekend, I am looking forward to listening to Joe Tait on the radio tonight. Go Cavaliers.

posted by Thea at 9:09 PM

October 28, 2003

· Big ups to Baby Fea for updating the website.
· Although I love basketball, I think that the NBA season starts too early. No NBA game should be played until after Halloween.
· I am holding on to my Tuesday night “NYPD Blue” habit even though I don’t think that I care about that show anymore. If I quit watching “NYPD Blue”, that means I only have a cartoon habit as far as new shows are concerned. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
· My brother lives in Southern California and I have thought of a million and one reasons why his family won’t get burned up in the fires.
· Can you imagine living on less money than you make now?
· I have been working out with dumbbells and I feel vigorous.
· My wife absolutely refuses to raise our potential kids Catholic. This may be a deal breaker.
· I had a long talk with Andrej today. He said the word pre-production. We agreed that we wanted the band to be the voice of the working class.
· I would announce a WCSB benefit show that is already booked for my birthday but I have to clear it with the Executive Staff of the radio station first. Formalities.
· Is it better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all?
· I don’t have any problem answering questions that are supposed to be rhetorical.
· I have spelled words so badly that they do not register on spell check at all.
· I saw my work described as “terrible” at the office – in writing. Seeing the word “terrible” written out had no effect on me other than the question: Was it really terrible?
· I can answer the question: “Were you joking?” with the answer: “Yes, I was joking.” in such a way and with such a tone that the person asking the question still has no idea whether I was joking or not.
· A. If I make more money, will I be happy?
· B. If I produce great art, will I be happy?
· C. If I stop asking the question: “Will I be happy?”, will I be happy?
· I don’t expect A, B or C to be the answer.
· I can make the value judgment good or bad and stick to it.
· I work at a job that is very establishment so I can buy things that I think help me identify with the counterculture.
· I am always looking forward to buying something else.
· When I asked Doug of Quazimodo today if it was living in Austin, TX that was so kick ass or was it just getting out of Cleveland, OH, he said it was just getting out of Cleveland, OH.
· Again, I am saying Lakewood, OH for life and almost meaning it.
· Can you force a Renaissance?
· Take a deep breath.
· Remember to make eye contact.
· Energy.
· Showtime.

posted by Thea at 9:22 PM

October 26, 2003

BLOG. Weekend Edition.

Thursday. I went to work, a WCSB radio station meeting and the Grog Shop for the Hotel Bruce launch party where Mike Uva and Hook Boy played with the Dreadful Yawns among others. It was a good show by Mr. Uva and Associates. They keep on getting better or I keep on liking them more. Either way. There was a three hour wait between bands so Laurie and I had to leave during the Dreadful Yawns set. This should be read as me needing to get to bed because the Yawns were sounding tight and I was in pain while leaving early. On the way home, I drove the Eurowagon on empty – the needle past the red zone and way into the final hash mark. I felt alive driving on fumes.

Friday. As soon as I decided to not to go into the office this weekend, I got hit by a shit storm of work. Final score. I won – crushing the bastards with my ability to get things done. I did not do anything on Friday night except go for a walk and read. It seemed like a good idea for a Friday night.

Saturday. I wrote in the morning and then did laundry. I ironed while watching that last Led Zeppelin DVD. Holy shit. Ironing while getting the Led out. There is no other way to iron. Thea and I went to the Legacy Village to see what we could see. They are calling the Legacy Village a lifestyle center. Hmm. For who, those who have a total lack of life? I got to see the Rock and Roll Butler AKA DJ Pat B who was working the event. Big ups to him. Bottom line on the new mall – if I had to go to one of the stores there for a specific reason, then I guess it is a good place to shop but I am never going there to walk around or hang out or anything. I mean, there is no record store. What the fuck? After hanging out with Thea, I went and bought a turntable. I think I bought the heaviest used turntable I could find. It is my first turntable since that fucking asshole heroin addict stole mine. It is funny because I never stopped buying records, I just didn’t have anything to play them on. Well, now I do. I listened to Black Sabbath “Volume 4” on vinyl. Most of what has been wrong with my life for nearly the last three years disappeared 3:32 into “Wheels of Confusion”. Life is that simple. For the nightlife and the boogie, Laurie and I went to Pat’s in the Flats to see the Terminal Lovers/Mother, Jugs and Speed/9 Volt Haunted House with her friends Caryn and Janice. Big ups to them. Missed almost all of 9 Volt Haunted House. Mother, Jugs and Speed ripped as a band but I am not sure about the costumed lead singer. I pretty much have a no costume rule. The Terminal Lovers jammed but Laurie and I had to bail again because of exhaustion. They really have to do something about making these shows start earlier or something. I can’t stay up all night anymore – even with falling back. By the way, I hate the fall back. Now it means I have a month of waking up at four o’clock in the morning and lying in bed until 6:00 a.m. instead of my usual waking up at 5:00 a.m. and lying for an hour. I don’t think I want to lie awake for an extra hour. That stinks.

Sunday. I woke up, wrote and read while listening to records on the turntable. This is what I was meant to do with my life. Really. This is who I am as a person and this is what I do. I went for two walks today. One was for a mile to get the newspaper – up hill, both ways. The other was the after the Browns lose bitch session with my wife walk. I love Lakewood, OH. Period. But I was really digging the hood as I walked around it today. I am going to announce Lakewood, OH for life and almost mean it. Laurie is working now and I am just kicking it by myself on a Sunday night. It is a rare event. I think I am going to flip the channels around for a while and then read “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again” by David “Infinite Jest” Foster Wallace. I laughed out loud twice already and I am only three pages into it. That is a good laugh to page ratio.

I am trying to lose the dozen pounds that I have gained since I fainted at the tattoo convention in March 2002. It is 32 days until Thanksgiving today and I want to lose the fat dozen by then. I have nine more pounds to go. My goal is to do it without fainting.

I am probably going to be playing more cuts off of the two new Paul Westerberg records tomorrow on the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show Starring Baby Fea (yea).

posted by Thea at 8:40 PM