September 25, 2003

My BLOG of yesterday, no matter how clear it was to me, suffered some misinterpretation by certain readers of this BLOG. So, in the interest of clarity to certain readers, let me state that food, water, air, sleep and my wife’s love are the only elements truly essential to my existence. Everything else is a lie fabricated by me to give my life some meaning.

I worked today. No, really worked. I have been pushing myself at the office. No, really pushing myself. To make the time go faster. I would go into how everything is just little games that we play to make time go faster but I don’t want the misinterpreted either so I will say that the life I lead at the office is completely different than the one I live outside the office. There are two different Chris (pl): the miserable office Chris and the exuberant at home Chris. I can blame every single problem that I have on things that I occur outside of my happy home.

I was never tired on my trip to California and I think that was a problem because now I am exhausted. I have still not recuperated. I am dragging. I am going to have to turn the corner on this trip soon because there is a ton of shit that I want to get accomplished before the holidays: writing, editing, submitting. It all must get done. It is sixty days until Thanksgiving on Sunday and I am going to give this year one more big push so I will feel like I actually did something this year. I want to hand people a manuscript and say, “This is finished.” It would be like a Christmas gift to myself from myself.

posted by Thea at 8:31 PM

September 24, 2003

I am dead tired. The life is catching up with me. Or old age is fucking with me. Or maybe I have been doing too much. I have been on the futon all night and I am going right back as soon as I am done with this.

I saw that there was a law in California that is banning all spam-type e-mails. Add this to the National Don’t Ever Fucking Call Me At My House With Some Bullshit Offer About Insurance On My Master Card List and now we are getting somewhere. I propose that we ban all forms of marketing, advertising and salesmanship. If we could get a law that prevents vendors from yelling “Beer Here!” when I am at the Gund Arena trying to watch the Cavaliers, now that would be something. What about those assholes at the mall? No, I don’t need any help and it is now against the law for you to ask me that when I am looking at trousers. Stricter rules should apply to car salesmen and anybody who offers insurance on a brand new product that is in the process of being purchased. These bastards should be put in jail. I love it that we need to legislate stupidity. I love the fact that somebody is sitting around thinking that it is a good idea to send out a million e-mails advertising debt consolidation and weight loss pills and penis pumps. Shouldn’t this shit just take care of itself? Please, dear government, protect me from asshole advertising.

I am not interested in any drug that enhances reality. I do not need to be any more “on”. I am looking for a drug that kills – no, obliterates, reality. I am looking for the drug that knocks you out just to the point where you almost forget to breath. Now, that’s a drug. Fuck this shit that keeps you going all the time. I want a drug that makes you half dead.

It is all lies. There is nothing about my life that is not completely made up besides the basic eating and sleeping and breathing stuff. The rest of it is all make believe. Tell me what you think is important to your life and I will tell you how it is manufactured, by you, to give your life a sense of purpose or meaning. Nothing is essential. Life is whatever you want to tell yourself it is. I know that I am living a lie – or a lot of lies. I want people to be aware of the fact that I know I am living a lie and yet I keep on living it because it is not a problem. Love the lie. Repeat. Love the lie.

posted by Thea at 9:01 PM

September 23, 2003

Baby Fea – a product of my creativity. I wish. I wish I were that creative.

I went back to work today and it was nowhere near as dumbly and suckish as I was prepared for. Dumb? Sure. Did it suck? You bet – just not as bad as expected. I had practice tonight with the Kid after a great Middle Eastern dinner made with love by Laurie and now I am off to bed to catch up on my sleep.

First, a public service announcement from your friends at the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show Starring Baby Fea (yea): “A Mighty Wind” came out on DVD today. If you are still sitting on your ass, let me hip you, go get it now. That was a public service announcement from your friends at the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show Starring Baby Fea (yea).

posted by Thea at 9:42 PM

Greetings from Lakewood, OH

I am clicking my ruby red slippers together and repeating in a quiet droning voice: there is no place like home. I am happy to be back. Ask me about my trip to California sometime. The gig tonight at the Beachland Tavern with the Dreadful Yawns went well. To the dude who yelled "Play 'Wish You Were Here'!": Yeah, buddy, fuck you. I thought we sounded good. I enjoyed myself rocking out and now I am going to bed. I could tell you that I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow but you already know that. Me versus the grind. The story of my life.
posted by Thea at 11:29 PM

Goodbye to Hesperia, CA.

I am BLOGGING again from my brother's house. It is 4:30 a.m. out here which means 7:30 a.m. in Cleveland, OH. I am jamming my system back into Eastern Standard Time. My brother and I are about to go down the mountain to the airport where my brother is going to drop me off for my flight home before going to work. In less then twelve hours, I will be back in Cleveland, OH. The trip up to San Francisco, CA to see George and the Browns was long. It was also everything that I hoped it would be. I am glad I made this trip and I am glad to be going home. You know how that goes. Bummer to not do this Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show Starring Baby Fea (Yea) this morning. Hope to see you at the Beachland Tavern tonight where I will be kicking it with the Dreadful Yawns. Nothing but blue skys ahead.
posted by Thea at 7:31 AM