July 17, 2003

Dear BLOG. Today was a horrible fucking day. I know. It is not proper or polite to use the word fucking but sometimes, times such as this, the situation demands it. The day started off bad enough. I continued to straighten and organize the house from the move. The question is will this tedium ever be over. The answer is not fucking likely. There it is again. There is that word. After working around the house for a couple of hours. I walked in the mid morning sunlight to Detroit Avenue for my eye appointment. Good news. I am not blind. The bad news it would take them four months to get my frame in stock. Huh? Four months? What’s the matter? Is the pony express down a few horses? Whatever. That means I am going to have to go to the mall this weekend for more bullshit. Hooray. I took the 326 bus down Detroit Avenue to work. The smell. Bad. And the loud talking. Forget about it. I wish I could. But I can’t. The best part was when she said: “Why do you want to watch ‘Gangs of New York’ for? Those are white gangs.” Work blew. Or did it suck? You make the call. Five o'clock world. I went to pick up the Jeep from the mechanic. My mechanic. The good mechanic. After almost two years of storage and never touching it once, the Jeep drives again. It stalled out a few times getting going but was cruising like a bastard down Hilliard. It is being held in an undisclosed Lakewood, OH driveway for a week until it can be put into storage again. This time, it is coming out of the garage a showpiece. You see. The Jeep is the physical embodiment of all of my fears and anxieties. The Jeep is the symbol for my feelings of helplessness and loss. Master the Jeep. Master fear. I walked home from the undisclosed Lakewood, OH driveway thinking that I want to get the Jeep perfect so I can drive it away. You know the rule about making life altering decisions when you are having a bad day. That is a no no. But when that Jeep is green and humming and I still hear the call of the road, I am gone. Adios, suckers. I have been hanging cabinets on the wall and curtain rods on the windows. I am tired now. And very aggravated. This day is over. I am out.

posted by Thea at 10:11 PM

July 16, 2003

I spent the evening buying and assembling inexpensive bathroom cabinets. In 1981, Venom released an album entitled “Welcome to Hell”.

posted by Thea at 10:56 PM

July 15, 2003

I was literally up half the night last night with worry. I could not sleep. Wondering what to do. It is like the big picture thing is being ignored while I obsess over the little things. The little things that are totally manageable. I just keep worrying and worrying. Not to worry, though. I am sure that it soon will pass and I will be back at it. Struggling with what I am doing with my life once again. Thanks to Dave, the Sinner and my mechanic for helping me deal with my issues. Showing. Answering. Fixing. A special shout out goes to George in San Francisco, CA. He did not have to say that money ain’t a thing. He lives it. I am tired. The air conditioner is on. Good night.

posted by Thea at 10:17 PM

July 13, 2003

I did the annual trip to Cedar Point today. And I did the annual trip back home down State Route 6. And I did the annual I will do anything I have to do to get a house on the lake monologue. I do this every year. Last year, I gave the whole spiel to Tom and Cassandra. Tom said: if that is all you want out of life, it seems pretty easy to get. Work a ton. Buy a house on the lake. Problem solved. This afternoon, I gave the diatribe to Dirt and Julie. But, this year, I said if ever sell a book, I am going to buy a house on the lake. It is a step in the right direction. Because we all know that I won’t do anything to get a house on the lake. Just ask law school. Dreams. Reality. Join me in saying fuck them both tomorrow on the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show.

posted by Thea at 10:19 PM