May 10, 2003

I went running this morning. Two miles running. One mile walking. I will be back up to the 5K next week. I love to run, Ernie. It makes me feel good. I noticed that the only person hustling up and down Lake Avenue this morning with a jacket on was me and the retirees. Only me and old people are afraid of catching cold in spring. Everybody else dressed light. I was wearing a thermal lined jacket. Also, last night I slept with four blankets on including an insulated sleeping bag on top. Laurie came to bed after kicking it at the Speaker/Cranker (big ups) with the ladies and freaked out at how hot it was. I don’t know. I am cold. I am wearing nothing but boxing slacks as I paint all night and I am wearing nothing but boxing slacks right now as I BLOG. Yet I am cold. Go figure. I hate clothes and I am always cold. This is puzzling.

This just in: I am working around the house today trying to get it ready for Mother’s Day. Also, I am going out to the drum store in Lake County and jamming with Dirt. I think that it is going to be it. No Deftones for me tonight. Nobody I know but me likes this band and I am not spending forty dollars for me and Laurie to go to the Flats on a Saturday night. I would like to see the Deftones for free (for free) but I am not going to chance it with my hard earned money. I got a couple of invites for some parties tonight that I don’t know if I am going to hit or not. I am playing it by ear. We will see. We will see.

posted by Thea at 11:21 AM

May 8, 2003

I started my day early – leaving work at four. I took the Detroit bus (the 26 – always the 26) home. Guess what? It was both loud and smelled bad. Can you believe it? I was kind of figuring on one and not the other but both - hallelujah. It must be my lucky day. I like to take the Detroit bus home sometimes for nostalgia’s sake. I weep bitterly for a decade ago. I morn the many losses. I think about the Reveler house. I look down West 91st Street. I remember living there. I remember the people. I remember the fun. It was always fun. There were arguments that were fun. There were fights that were fun. No matter what bad happened there, it was always fun. I want that fun back. That is what I am living for. That is why I keep going. To get the fun from a decade ago back. Call it living in the past. Call it crazy. Call it whatever. I don’t care. I had fun back then. I am going to have fun again. I had band practice tonight. It is a different kind of fun but close – real close. I feel like I am heading in the right direction. I am not definite. It is just a feeling. But it is better than thinking that I am doing it wrong. I have felt that way for a few years now. Always doing it wrong. I don’t know. It seems stupid to say. But I feel like things are going right. I feel like an idiot for thinking that. Maybe I am lying to myself. But that it how I feel. I just got back from running. I am feeling relaxed. I am feeling good. Maybe that is why I am BLOGGING stupid shit.

I stopped wearing a watch today. I have a bad dry spot on my wrist where my watch was rubbing while I drummed. Do you want to guess how many times I looked at my wrist, saw the dry spot and remembered why I did not have a watch on? If you guessed countless, you are right.

posted by Thea at 10:47 PM

May 7, 2003

I just got finished painting. Some trim. The basement stairs. The painting must be perfect. I don’t want to ruin Mother’s Day. I do not want to hear: Son? I have no son! Just because I did a half assed job painting the house. I listened to “Physical Graffiti” while I painted. “Ten Years Gone” twice. Tonight, my wife said that she hated Led Zeppelin. She said the guitar player was giving her a headache. I could say that if we were dating, that would be grounds for dismissal but I can’t say that because we are married. Stakes are too high. Which makes those proclamations all that much more damning. After getting the Led out, I listened to “The Bends” by Radiohead. A guilty pleasure. I can’t help but imaging the former cast of “Beverly Hills 90210” listening to “The Bends” when they want to feel bad after a rough day filming infomercials. I hate the experience of shared emotions (especially with vapid assholes) and have a strict policy against it. I think that I am breaking my rule with “The Bends”. I listened to “Ten Years Gone” a third time after Radiohead just to get my head right before bed.

I am a week into the diet, starting to run again and a new book. I feel like I am losing it. I feel lost. I feel desperate. I feel hungry. This is exactly how I want to feel. I think that the whole project is going great. To write a book while driving yourself bonkers – now there’s an idea.

posted by Thea at 10:45 PM

May 6, 2003

I don’t think that there is any point in me BLOGGING about my day before I get home from work anymore. Let’s just assume that every one of my weekdays consist of me writing in the morning and then me going to work thinking that I am dying all day. It was bad today. More of the I can’t sit still or I will totally lose it syndrome. The job is killing me. There is no other way to say it.

My day now starts with the bus ride home. Today, I started my day with some reading. I asked myself, as I got off the bus, how much longer can I take this. The answer is: as long as I have to. But it has got to be sooner than later. I will work harder to get out of this mess. I am having the run away from home daydreams again. I practiced my drums. I ate my dinner. I worked on my yard while listening to “Blues for the Red Sun” by Kyuss. Both my mother and mother-in-law are coming over for Mother’s Day on Sunday. The yard must look beautiful or my moms will hate me and thank me for ruining their holiday. I ran while listening to “Sky Valley” by Kyuss. I read in an interview somewhere that John Garcia was not into Black Sabbath while growing up but, rather, into Earth Wind and Fire. Really? Earth Wind and Fire? That’s funny. Because you sound exactly like Black Sabbath. In the same interview, Mr. Garcia claimed that he never noticed the similarities between his band and Black Sabbath until after their first record came out and everybody and their deaf grandma compared them to Black Sabbath. So Kyuss went out and bought a Black Sabbath record and agreed that, gee, what a coincidence, there are some similarities between the two bands. I bet Mr. Garcia was hoping that Kyuss’ Earth Wind and Fire styled sequined stage costumes would throw people off the trail. Better luck next time, dude.

I am about to watch television. I am going to flip back and forth between basketball and “NYPD Blue”. I am going to let my emotions run wild.

posted by Thea at 9:52 PM

May 4, 2003

I know that if I do not BLOG now. It is not going to happen today. Ask yourself. What happened to yesterday? It is gone. That is all I can say. It is gone. I did not stop moving yesterday. I sat down to talk to my brother and Baby Fea on the phone. Otherwise, I ate standing up. I read the paper standing up. I think that I might have slept standing up too. It sure feels like it. I am tired. I don’t feel like moving. But I have to. I have to keep moving. I just finished writing. I am about to do my stretching and pushups and crunches for the day. Then I am going to go running. I think that I am going to listen to the Deftones while I run. As a public service to the listeners of the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show who are fans of the Deftones – all none of you, the Deftones will be playing at the Odeon this coming Saturday. There is one of those internet password presale things this week or you can go to the Odeon the day before the show to buy tickets. I know what you are saying. Dude, you are thirty-one years old. What are you still listening to new heavy metal records for? Or aren’t the Deftones rap rock? Those are valid questions but trust me. The Deftones rule. They are the Radiohead of hard rock. Or right up there with Tool. I am very pumped up about seeing them. Let’s just hope I can figure out a way to get in for free. (For free.) Now that would really pump me up.

A couple of big ups on this beautiful Sunday morning:

The first one goes out to Dirt who, once again, rose up beyond the call of duty and helped me re-wire my house yesterday. What a pain in the ass. I am betting that it was a pain in his ass too. Any takers? It took many more hours than I planned. It was very irritating when the stove would not work anymore. I am not Baby Fea. I need a stove. It took a couple of hours to figure out what was wrong with the stove. But Dirt did it. Man, I can’t say this loud enough, big ups to him.

The second goes out to Jamie of Boulder. I saw him play drums for Abdullah yesterday at Pat’s in the Flats. One word. Wow. Think about him raging on the bass with Boulder. Now, think about him sitting behind a set of drums – but still raging. Abdullah rules. But what rules even more is Jamie’s solo death metal project Midnight. He Who Will Never be BLOGGED About on This Website Ever Again – Ever played me the Midnight demos. With such dope tracks as “All Hail Hell” and “Long Live Death”, it is destined to be a classic. So props go out to Jamie from Boulder too - just for being a rocker.

Alright. I am going running. Go Pistons. “All Hail Hell”. Big ups to everybody. All that shit. Talk to you tomorrow on the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show.

posted by Thea at 9:35 AM