May 1, 2003

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

The Indiana Pacers, one of my teams, got eliminated from the playoffs tonight. Offsetting the good news of the Kings advancing yesterday. Now, I will root for the Celtics against the Nets - even though to hate the Celtics has been in my blood since birth - because I really do not like the Nets. Not at all. Not one bit. They are the budget New York Knicks. The Lakers/Timberwolves game is on television right now. Although I am not playing “Here’s Johnny!” tonight, I do not want to miss the game. I am going to have to make this quick.

I started writing again after three weeks off. It feels good. I am proclaiming this book the most pointless of any that I have written. I am writing it because I have some time to kill and don’t feel like writing anything serious. Or seriously.

I started running again today after four months off. I did not die on Edgewater Drive but I thought I was going to. No wind. Weak legs. Plenty of pain. The good thing is (and this is the only time that I will ever say this about anything concerning my life) there is no place to go but up. A truly miserable experience. But I am happy to be running again. It takes care of so much mental bullshit for me. That’s why I do it. I feel better already.

posted by Thea at 11:07 PM

April 30, 2003

It starts again tomorrow. The running. The writing. The life. I spent the night driving around aimlessly with the window down blasting Elvis Costello. I looked for shirts, books and records to buy – used. I found nothing. I spent some time chatting with He Who Will Never be BLOGGED About on This Website Ever Again – Ever, Jamie from Boulder and other assorted rock and roll madmen who I am just damned lucky to be even standing in the same room as these cats let alone sort of interacting. Let me say it again: I am lucky. Every time that I think that I have arrived, I remember that it is starting again tomorrow. There is no arriving. There is no destination. Just journey. Not the “Wheels in the Sky” band but the trip. I am into this journey idea. I like the thought of motion. I like the thought of progress. I like the thought of working towards something. I like all of it. I saw a fat man listening to a headset eating candy waiting for the bus on Lorain Road while driving around aimlessly listening to Elvis Costello. I am ready to begin.

posted by Thea at 10:27 PM

April 29, 2003

I did actual work at work today to pass the time. I don’t recommend it at all but the time did click by pretty fast. Gee. I felt less agitated going home today. Is this called getting your drone on?

Laurie and I worked around the house again tonight. Lame. Boring. Tiresome. Insightful. I have been thinking a lot about the next book. I know what I want to say but I don’t know how to say it. That is the way I write. No plot. One or two characters. See what happens. I have been kind of hoping that something would come to me as far as the structure of the whole thing is concerned before I get going on Thursday. Well, my wife inspired me. That’s right. Inspired. We were talking about a well known loser and it hit me like a ton of blubber. Yes. I know exactly what I am going to do now. Give props where props are due. Big ups to Laurie. Also, she is the most kind hearted woman. Easy going. Not a big shit talker. But there are people that she hates – man, does she hate. And she mocks. Viciously. Which is funny because she is usually so nice.

Lakers/Timberwolves or “NYPD Blue”. The battle for the remote control is on.

posted by Thea at 10:00 PM

April 26, 2003

I got to watch the fourth quarter of Lakers/Timberwolves game today after practice. The Wolves just blew it down the stretch. And what’s up with Garnett missing two critical free throws with under a minute left? That is not how champions are made. I am figuring that the Lakers are going to win the series and, thereby, be on television all the time for the next several weeks. That means Jack Nicholson will be on television all the time for the next several weeks. I don’t know how drinking games are developed or why - really. Is the point to get drunk or watch your buddies get drunk? Are there any winner or losers in drinking games? I don’t know about any of this but…who cares. Here is my contribution to the world reckless competitive drinking: It is called “Here’s Johnny” and it is brought to you by your friends at the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show. It is very simple. Here are the rules:

1. Every time they show Jack Nicholson on television during a Lakers game, everybody yells “Here’s Johnny” and finishes their beer.

2. If they show Donald Sutherland with Jack Nicholson, you have to sing the first line of the “Baby Fea Theme” by Junkyard Todd (ba ba de ba da ba ba ba ba Baby Fea, Baby Fea) before you can drink your beer.

3. If they ever show Donald Sutherland without Jack Nicholson, the last person to yell out a Baby Fea catch phrase (bingo dabber, monkey blanket, banana, hamburger, the children, Carolyn, Why would I change my life, it’s ideal? Who foo that ham at me? etc.) has to drink from a bottle of Champale, Mad Dog or something else bogus on hand.

4. If they show a lesser celebrity (Penny Marshal, Ice Cube, Adam Sandler etc.), the first person to identify the celebrity gets to drink their beer.

5. If they show Jack Nicholson looking dejected after Shaquille O’neal misses a free throw, nobody drinks.

6. If they show Jack Nicholson cheering after somebody not named Kobe Bryant makes a huge shot in the last minutes of the game, nobody drinks.

Of course, the point of the game is to drink up and repeat “Fuck the Lakers” as many times as humanly possible. There you go. Have fun and enjoy the NBA Playoffs (or drinking if you don’t like basketball).

posted by Thea at 6:48 PM