March 15, 2003

Beware the Ides of March. I don’t know why. It is just fun to say.

I believe that you only have so many inspired thoughts in a lifetime. And few of them are really inspired. They just seem profound because most of the thoughts that any of us have are pretty simple. Like what to eat. Or what to watch on TV. We are always thinking but none of the thoughts are that deep. I had two good ones yesterday. Landmark. To be at work with a clear head. Miracle. So I would like to give big fucking ups to the asshole at work who bugged me with some bullshit assignment before I could write the first one down. Thanks a lot, dickhead. I forgot what it was. I remember thinking the thought. I got off the elevator. I said to myself that I needed to write that one down. And then this jack off stopped me while I was walking to the supply room for a pad and paper. Poof. It is gone. The thing that sucks is this guy is always interrupting my train of thought. Loser. Jerk. I will hate this man forever. He is on some kind of controlling me trip or something. Go to hell, moron.

That is what makes the second inspired thought that I had yesterday seem so important. Because I forgot the first one. Lightening never strikes twice. Here it is: it does not seem special if it comes naturally. I got to a pad before this dude interrupted me again. Yes. He bugged me again. Follow up question. Again - It does not seem special if it comes naturally. That is all. It is not like the magic answer or some life altering statement. It’s just true. And I thought it at work. Where I normally think of nothing.

posted by Thea at 9:01 PM

March 13, 2003

I took a break from my “Volunteered Slavery” to “Seinfeld” tonight. I had to get some writing done. I had an ass load of live reviews to write dating back to last fall. They needed to get done. Or this website overhaul thing is never going to go forward. At long last, I am finished. I am going to edit everything tomorrow and then, through the magic of digital technology, it should be on your own personal e-mail computer in the blink of a robot’s eye. The reviews pretty much suck. I could not remember what happened at these shows except to say that they rock. Oh well. I will have to remember to write the show review close to the actual show date instead of months later. What can I say? I blew it. Twice. What was I thinking not watching “Seinfeld”? I did not tape it either. What is the matter with me? Am I insane? That was a big mistake on my part. I could have watched them over the weekend. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I am sorry “Seinfeld”. I won’t do it again.

posted by Thea at 8:26 PM

March 12, 2003

I was upset on the bus ride downtown. It did not get any better on the walk to the office. I think I had more reasons to be mad at work today than yesterday. Everything that pisses me off at the office has been popping up in front of me one after another. It is like they are trying to push my buttons. I am trying my damnedest not to think about it.

My wife told me today that she did not want to be a slave to “Seinfeld”. That is funny. For all my talk of cultural elitism, I am a “Seinfeld” junkie. I watched two hours of “Seinfeld” tonight and could have watched two more. If I weren’t so tired. And "Seinfeld" was still on. I am pretty tired. More tired than I should be at nine o’clock. I am shooting for bed.

I keep thinking maybe tomorrow. That is my problem. I keep thinking.

posted by Thea at 9:07 PM

March 11, 2003

I literally winced in pain riding the elevator up to work this morning. Two girly girls with their gym bags, bottled water and too much make up were talking about the weather. My lips quivered. My face trembled. I almost screamed. Enough. Enough with the fucking weather. When it is warm it will be warm. Got it? Are you fucking retarded? Let me say it again: It is winter. We live in Cleveland, OH. It is cold. Don’t ask me if I have been outside today. Just assume that it is cold and then be pleasantly surprised if it isn’t. It is official. Banal chit chat on the elevator causes me physical discomfort.

Today was the first day since I have been in the new office where I have seriously considered quitting. It was a combo fear of debt and the unknown that kept me locked in my cubicle. If I die there, I deserved it – because I stayed there.

I don’t believe everything I say. I am often trying to convince myself that what I am saying is true. If I can make me believe. Then I can make you believe. Because I know what I am saying. And I know what is true.

posted by Thea at 9:14 PM

March 9, 2003

I have a few minutes to kill before band practice. I just got back from an Italian buffet lunch in Parma, OH with my in-laws. I ate enough garlic to ward off an entire legion of vampires. Come and get me, Dracula. Big ups to my in-laws for the free grub and happy birthday to the multitude of in-laws who celebrated their birthday today. I think it is my old school dog in Chicago, IL Kevin’s birthday today, so big ups to him too. I also have to give big ups to Grinding Dill and his fine lady for having me and Laurie over last night for a sexy fish dinner. It was the sexiest fish dinner I have ever had. And their new house is very nice. It is all that you could ask for in a house. It is loaded wall to wall with much flair. Congratulations and big ups.

I am in a rotten mood now and I don’t see it getting any better at band practice. What does that mean? I think it means one out of control rant fest on tomorrow’s Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show. Tune in and look out.

posted by Thea at 3:38 PM