February 13, 2003

It is the middle of the day at work. It is a slow as shit. That is not a big deal in the purest sense and I know that most people would like to not busy at work but it cuts into my billable hours which in turn cuts into my vacation so, you know, that is bullshit. I am not bored, however. I have been working on content for website while waiting for this major assignment to blow up and talking to Thea on the phone. She is bored at work too. At one point, she said that she was looking for clipart pictures of roosters for the Sinner and Carolyn’s St. Valentine’s Day card. That should be proof positive that the on air Thea is not all stick. She exists like that in the real world. Hallelujah. Let the Saints be praised.

I just got back from a winter power walk. I did not go last night; if you are wondering. I feel guilt. I feel shame. I feel like a lazy fat ass. I am disgusting. I sicken myself. It was not that cold. It was kind of nice. I will never let the fat pig inside win again. I must power walk. Or die.

The Apples in Stereo were good last night. So was Oranger. They were like a younger version of Sloan. I tried to hate them because they were younger than me but they were good enough to get past that. Damn them. The Grog Shop was packed. People are getting cabin fever. The highlight of the evening was watching Sergio Van Lukenstein get off while the Apples kicked it. The dude was into it.

That killed a few minutes.

posted by Thea at 2:00 PM

February 12, 2003

The computer lady on the telephone said the temperature was 16 degrees and I am about to go for a power walk. Actually, now that I am thinking about it, that is pretty cold. Maybe too cold for a power walk? I don’t know.

I just got done practicing drums for the last time before the first time with Saint Andrej and crew tomorrow. I am excited. I think that I have got the material pretty much down. I think that my chops are pretty much up. Chops. What a stupid word. Tomorrow will be my first time playing with other people since Saint Andrej kicked me out of his band over three years ago. I am a little nervous. I hope it goes well.

I just talked to my wife. I don’t think I am going out. Too cold. Or am I a wuss?

Andrej and I are heading out to the Apples in Stereo at the Grog Shop. They are always good live. Not great. But always good. I am looking forward to being in a smokey bar for some reason.

I am going to lie down for five minutes before I make my final decision to hit the road. Or not. I hate being lazy. Will I or won’t I? I will tell you tomorrow.

posted by Thea at 8:02 PM

February 11, 2003

It is exactly one year and five months since September 11th and we are still feeling the horrors of terrorism. Tragedy struck again today as the Man, no doubt inspired by terrorism, decided to take my secretary away. They moved her to another floor. They offered to let me move with her but she sits on a floor that has one, few, several, many (I will never tell.) person(s) that I have deep seeded personal problems with and massive hatred against and I cannot see him/her/them on a daily basis. That cannot happen. Never. So, I stayed on my floor. Oh, the tragedy. Today was the first day without her. I walked down the lonely corridor. I cried out for my former secretary in the emptiness. I stood in her former cubicle and wailed. I wept bitterly. The office has turned into hell, not just hell on earth, but the actual real burning crying gnashing of teeth hell. I feel like I am about to give the death hoot.

They assigned me another secretary. She seems nice but it will never be the same. Never. I was friends with my secretary for years before she became my secretary. We used to sit in the file room together when she was a part-timer after she had her fourth kid. We played name that tune. She was good at it. I don’t know why, but I don’t see myself ever playing name that tune with my new secretary. My former secretary was fun to hang around. She was five years younger than my mom but she seemed more like a contemporary. She was with it. I will not discuss her secretarial skills here but, as a ruthless perfectionist, the phrase never good enough gets said a lot by me. I did not care about her secretarial skills – not one bit. I liked her as a person. I liked hearing about her kids. She is friends with everybody at work and the entire city of Lakewood, OH so she always knew what was going on with everybody. She was cool. She was funny. She read her Bible verses and ate a Slim Fast bar for breakfast every morning. She smiled all the time. She was a master liar. I will miss her. Will the tragedy ever end?

No, it will not. Yes, the smell of smoke that was coming from the basement was my furnace.

posted by Thea at 8:49 PM

February 9, 2003

I just got finished watching Mariah Carey perform during the NBA All Star half time show. I think that she is fabulous. My wife thinks she is wretched. We are a house divided. My wife thinks that Mariah Carey is everything that is wrong with women. I agree but she still does it for me. What is my problem?

I either ate a another piece of kitty litter or swallowed a ton of dish soap in a glass that was not properly rinsed out. I can’t get that taste out of my mouth.

Joe Jackson said that Michael Jackson regurgitated all the way to the bank.

All this and more on tomorrow’s Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show.

posted by Thea at 9:56 PM