January 18, 2003

I have been going to the library almost every day at lunch at work because I know what is going to happen if I stay at the office but I never will know for sure what is going to happen while I am out. This past week, they announced the release date for the new “Harry Potter” book (sometime in June). I got to witness the librarians fielding all of these calls from people trying to reserve the new “Harry Potter” book. What the fuck? Here is some advice for anybody who was trying to reserve a copy of the new “Harry Potter” book from the library and had no luck: save some of the money that you were going to spend on scratch and win tickets from now until June and buy the fucking book. It is not that hard.

On the corner of Clifton Boulevard and West 115th Street this afternoon, I witnessed an old lady locked inside of a running Buick and three of her family members trying desperately to get her out. “Grandma. No, Grandma. The lock is the other button. Press the other button. No, Grandma. Not that button. The other button. Listen to me, Grandma. Grandma. The other button unlocks the doors.”

I watched six hours of Bill Hicks today on video. Again, big ups to my wife. Best Christmas present ever.

posted by Thea at 10:44 PM

January 17, 2003

I was just about to BLOG about how fresh I felt even after going out last night to see the Lilys at the Beachland Tavern and really not getting enough sleep and not even feeling like I needed a nap or anything. But when I sat down at the thinking machine, the keyboard was not working and in the time it took me to reboot the computer, I hit the wall. And I was all pumped up about going out for a winter death walk and then watching basketball all night on TV. Now, I am not pumped at all. I was pumped, about a minute ago. Whatever. Today was stupid at work. I got the “I wonder when I could expect that project to be completed” phone call after I signed off on the bullshit yesterday. But then I got to fuck somebody over by taking the high road and that is always nice. So I guess it all balances out. I was let down again by a co-worker (being totally unable to count on somebody is something to depend on) but I got to watch little Matty Bumpo’s jazz duo play in the Colonial Arcade for an hour and totally space out. So everything is cool. Not too up. Not too down.

Today is my former mentor’s birthday. He is eleven years older than me and those eleven years have given him the ability to give me plenty of sound advice. He explained the difference between wanting and needing to me. That was righteous of him. He is a dude. I don’t work with him anymore, which is why he is a former mentor – not like I still don’t need mentoring. I miss him enough to keep in touch with him and that is an absolute first for me. With everybody else, if we don’t work together anymore, you are out of my life until I see you at a funeral. That is just the way it is. It is not like I have anything against you but there are only so many people that you can keep inside of a life. I won’t ignore you on the street, I am not going to just call you out of the blue to rap or anything.

There is really no point to this spiel except to say big ups to my former mentor on his birthday and it is possible to develop meaningful friendships in an office.

posted by Thea at 7:35 PM

January 16, 2003

Sometimes, the world of whimsical fantasy that I dwell in (I don’t work in an office. I am a writing drumming radio host.) gets corrupted by the dull repetition of hallways, elevators and bus rides. I have to think about my future. I have to spend forty hours a week at the office. I have to worry about money. I have to deal with all of that bullshit and it ruining my life in the land of make believe. I don’t want to deal with a budget but I have to because there is this wild notion that I might be able to retire someday. Yeah, that is going to happen. All I can do is pray for a fast death because I will never be able to get away from the office. That is the truth. That is reality. Man, does it suck. The wife and I were having a serious discussion about our finances. It was serious. It was boring. Usually, I just like to look at my wife and think about how cute she is and tell her I love her about a million times and forget about the fact that reality is trying to bother me. But we have to talk about the mortgage and the car payment and the bills sometimes because we have to. And then I start to get down (the opposit of up - not get down). I think that life sucks and it is boring and I don’t have any fun and I start telling her in an ultra heavy fashion that all I want to do is have a little fun in life and that is not happening right now. And then we are sitting around all bummed out and not talking to each other and watching Bill Hicks on the television (thanks to Laurie for one of the greatest Christmas presents I ever got – nine tapes of Bill Hicks) and one of my friends called me (who will remain nameless) and he was smoking a bong while he was on the phone with me. That’s right. A bong. A bong. My kingdom for a bong. And I thought again that my life is pretty good. Back to fantasy. I don’t work in an office. I am a writing drumming radio host.

posted by Thea at 9:32 PM

January 15, 2003

Today was get it in gear Wednesday. I started off the day by figuring exactly how much I had to work at work and still be able to take all of my vacation and get a bonus. Good news. I have been working too hard. I celebrated by editing a large chunk of old writing this morning. I am about to start pacing myself for my next novel. Good news. It will be done by Easter. I started the budget for the first half of 2003 in earnest today. Good news. We will no longer have any debt as of May 15, 2003. And it won’t be that hard. That is if I don’t go ahead and buy a brand new drum set first. I am window shopping now and think that the best way to go is to buy a drum set used but you know I don’t want to wait. I have been cranking it harder and harder behind the drums each night. I played “Sticky Fingers” by the Rolling Stones tonight and rocked it pretty good. Good news. I will play the drums in front of a crowd again. I know it. I am about to go for a winter wonder walk. And then I am going to watch TV. Good news. The Mavericks play the Kings at 9:00 p.m. and the Cavs play the Warriors at 10:30 p.m. Go Cavs. Fuck Bobby Sura. Good news. It is a wonderful life.

posted by Thea at 8:06 PM

January 14, 2003

I did start not BLOGGING until the end of January last year and I am afraid to look at what I wrote two years ago in January on this day because I am sure that if I did look at that old writing, it would be what I am writing now. I am having a repeat of last year and I know that last year was a repeat of the year before. I have to just face facts that Januarys are always going to suck and they are always going to be exactly the same each and every single year of my life that is stuck on repeat.

The highlight of Thea’s day was seeing a woodpecker outside her window at work and mine was laughing out loud to Jim Rome while I walked down Euclid Avenue from Cleveland State University home of WCSB Cleveland 89.3 FM home of the Assholier than Thou Good times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show. I remember laughing out loud twice but I have no idea what I was laughing out loud at. I love to laugh out loud, Ernie. Yeah? It makes me feel good.

posted by Thea at 8:38 PM

January 12, 2003

The whole Pete Townshend child porn thing sucks. Period. I can believe that he was doing research - or at least I will say that I WANT to believe that he was doing research for his childhood autobiography where he claims that he was molested as a boy but it is just so fucked up, I am having a hard time dealing with it. Pete Townshend (of the Who) gave his credit card number to a child porn outfit. That is horrible no matter what the excuse. I do not know if the Who can take yet another major hit like this and still have me worship them. This is bad. What is worse is the following quote from Pete Townshend in defense of his actions:

Pete Townshend said he was interested in adult porn, adding: "I've always been into pornography and I have used it all my life.

No, no, no, he said, I like regular pornography.

Do all of my heroes need to be destroyed right before me eyes?


posted by Thea at 9:42 PM