January 11, 2003

I went to work first thing this morning. I got downtown earlier than I normally do on a regular workday. There were already people at the office. It is 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday. Tell me there is not something wrong with this.

I finally got as organized as I am going to get for starting off the New Year Organized (with a capital “O”). It is not perfect but I am not carrying around a bunch of extraneous shit anymore.

I read a bunch in total silence today. It was nice to have other people’s thoughts bounce around my head along with my thoughts, that are usually in some form of mental battle royal, without getting things even more worked up in there. It was kind of nice. The new thoughts actually got along with the old thoughts.

posted by Thea at 8:56 PM

January 10, 2003

Woke up, drank coffee, dreamed, ironed clothes, took shower, dreamed, took first bus I saw (too crowded), went to office, got call, worked, ate yogurt, drank coffee, worked, did push ups and sit ups, ate two apples and some oatmeal, talked to Thea, she said mountain goat, drank coffee, listened to Elvis Costello, got bored with work, thought too much about leaving work early, got hammered with work, went home from work late, took first bus I saw (too crowded), ate raw vegetable medley and pretzels, watched “Seinfeld”, played drums (playing all of the Replacements albums in reverse), watched “Seinfeld”, BLOGGED, took winter power walk, dreamed, kissed wife, watched Cavs vs. Lakers, fell asleep on the futon.

posted by Thea at 8:16 PM

January 9, 2003

Today was the first day since before Thanksgiving where I was totally bored off of my ass at work. It was horrible. I was doing mindless busy work while hungry with no jams. Did you hear that, no jams? Actually, I did have one jam at work – the Saint Andrej demo CD. And after a half a dozen listens, I could not take the bittersweet rock and roll of Saint Andrej anymore. So, I clicked off the last couple of hours of the day playing I am thirsty and now I have to go to the bathroom and now I am thirsty and now I have to go to the bathroom. I was not technically wandering the hallways. I had to go to the bathroom. You can bet on this: tomorrow I will be kicking the jams. I guarantee it. Do you know how I could convince myself to think about going back to law school over the holiday season? Well, I was not really at work that often and when I was there I was not doing much. Sure, I want to work at an office until I die – if every week is the week of Christmas but the full time January I want to run out of the place screaming pointless drudgery thing for the rest of my life is not going to work.

I was told that everybody hates their job at least part of the time. Oh, OK, if everybody feels that way then I guess I better just be thankful to have a job and keep my mouth shut.

No. I don’t think so.

posted by Thea at 7:29 PM

January 8, 2003

Today is my sister Kristy’s birthday. She is 22. Big ups to Kristy on her birthday. Do you find it odd that my name would be Chris and my sister’s name would be Kristy? Would it be odder to you still if I told you that my grandfather only called me Christy, nothing else, until after Kristy was born and he had to force himself to stop? I was named after Christopher Robbins of Winnie the Pooh fame. My sister was named after me. And my mom is not George Foreman. What’s up with that?

We are trying to save money in the New Year. I am trying to show restraint and not buy everything that I want the second I want it like I did last year. It is a good thing I don’t want that much. I went to the bookstore today and spent a gift certificate on the new Hunter S. Thompson book. I wanted to buy “The Big Sleep” by Raymond Chandler but thought it would do me more good to use some self control and not get the book. I, at the beginning of the New Year, put all of the books in my house that I have not read on top of the small bookshelf and told myself that I would not buy another book until all of the books that I already have are read (except for the Hunter S. Thompson book that I knew I was going to buy when it came out today and this Sherwood Anderson book that was used and cheap [hey, I don’t drink beers or go out to lunch]). So, it feels good to show some discipline (I like to show discipline, Ernie. Yeah? It makes me feel good.) and not buy “The Big Sleep” by Raymond Chandler but if anybody was going to buy it for me and send it to me care of WCSB 89.3 FM, Cleveland State University, 956 Rhodes Tower, Cleveland, OH 44115 (it’s only twelve bucks) I would really appreciate it. I have to show restraint with my finances (It is a New Year’s resolution.) but you don’t.

posted by Thea at 9:23 PM

January 7, 2002

I got a letter from an old friend in the mail today. Apparently nobody told her that nobody writes letters anymore, let alone a letter written in ink on small stationary type pieces of paper. It is the year Y2K (thank you, Alan Alda, for coming up with that one). E-mail computer, baby, e-mail computer. I have to say that I was very flattered and touched that somebody would take the time of out their life to write me. It means something more than a message on my answering machine and, you know what, I am going to hit her back with ink. Hopefully this will turn into something more than an intention to do something cool that never amounts to anything.

I played the drums worse today than on Sunday. I think my poor performance has to do with me being fully clothed.

I started reading all of these “how to” writing books that I got from the library. Holy shit. Does everything have to be made to suck by the man or is it just everything that I care about? By the book is bullshit. I remember sending out demo tapes for the band a decade ago – by the book – and it amounted to almost nothing. I will not submit my writing by the book. There is no fucking way. If Thea has taught me anything, it is to do things the way that I like to do them. I am determined to come up with a pleasant way to send out samples of my writing. I refuse to send an outline of any of my books. I absolutely fucking refuse.

We live in a world of low rents and no rents who are being sold worthless bullshit at a discount and are thrilled to be able to get the worthless bullshit on the cheap.

posted by Thea at 9:45 PM

January 5, 2002

“The young man’s mind was carried away by his growing passion for dreams. One looking at him would not have thought him particularly sharp. With the recollection of little things occupying his mind he closed his eyes and leaned back in the car seat. He stayed that way for a long time and when he aroused himself and again looked out of the car window the town of Winesburg had disappeared and his life there had become but a background on which to paints the dreams of his manhood.”

- Sherwood Anderson, “Winesburg, Ohio” (1919)

I am not having a hard time coming up with the dreams but I am having trouble formulating those dreams into a convincing plan B.

posted by Thea at 9:50 PM