October 12, 2002
There is no way for me to tell the story of 1999 AKA the biggest year of my life chronologically and have it match up with stuff that I wrote at the same time. I didn’t start writing hardcore until after the middle of the year, which is to say after Thea and I started the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show, which is to say after the band broke up, which is to say after I dropped in and out of law school, which right before my wife and I bought the house. I can’t tell the story chronologically. Is that important? I don’ know. I don’t even know if I will be able to tell the story at all with the way that my head has been lately.
Here is something from the very end of 2000 to show my complete disregard for proper story telling technique: It was Christmas time. The wife and I were trying to celebrate the holiday after the break-in and my problems with the Lakewood Police Department. My friend Tom and his wife Cassandra were in from out of town visiting the house for the first time. We were showing them around. I was eager to show them a Who poster that I just got framed at a discount. Tom asked me how much I paid for the frame job. I told him – proud that it was so cheap. Tom said woah. I asked if that was too much. He said anything that you pay for framing past the cost of materials is too much. He said that the frame business is the biggest scam going. He said that I could have done it myself.
I have puzzled over the frame scam for almost two years. I have let valuable flyers remain unframed for almost two years because I could not find a simple black frame to fit the flyer. You see, although I just want to hang rock posters and flyers up all over my house, I am not a kid anymore and a simple black frame gives the rock memorabilia the necessary adult touch. Well, today was a landmark day. I figured out the frame scam. It goes like this: go to craft store and buy frame supplies, then go to hardware store and get piece of glass for frame, go home and frame your fucking balls off. I now have a handsome framed Cynics/New Salem Witch Hunters poster and other smaller items framed by me. It was easy and pretty cheap. It was a big day for me. I figured out the frame scam.
Also, “Man Bites Dog” was just released on DVD and I just bought it. Yes. I am going to wait to watch it so I can ride on the excitement from anticipation for a while.
All from “Punk Planet":
Complete Control
Number 3
This is a very interesting and well-written political/personal type zine by a guy named Greg from an organization called General Strike. Greg travels a lot. In this issue, Greg quits his job and goes to Louisville, Vancouver, San Francisco, DC and Mexico. In addition to his narratives, there is a poem by a real life political prisoner (ooh) and an interview with Ed Mead. I enjoyed Complete Control and Greg seems to lead an interesting life but I find politics, especially revolutionary politics, extremely distasteful and highly unfashionable. Anticapitalist, you are never going to make any money that way. 81/2 X 5/12. Copied. 28 pages.
(1999)
Athena’s Scapegoat
Number 4 June 1999
I found Athena’s Scapegoat entertaining. I would pay a dollar for it. There is glitter on the cover. Big bonus points. Two precocious youngsters write the zine: Julia and Andrew. It contains a variety of hodge podge and miscellaneous stuff: a Method Man/Spinal Tap critique, Kirk Cameron appreciation, interviews with Hole and Offspring, a piece entitled “Imagine a world without cabinets” and record/zine reviews. The tone of this zine is good natured and goofy. These high schoolers seem like they would be fun to hang out with during lunch period or study hall. 81/2 X 51/2. Copied. 48 pages.
(1999)
Duck Milk
Volume 2 Issue 1
This skimpy thrown together zine is dedicated to the twin cities BMX scene. After reading this publication, I would say there is no hope for BMXers in the twin cities. The zine is short with large type. There is an interview with Pat Menton, pictures of an empty skate park, “The ballad of the kid named Johnny”- an ode to BMX and three reviews. If I were a sympathetic teacher, I would give this an “E” for effort. I am sure that this zine means something to somebody somewhere but not to me. 81/2 X 7. Copied. 10 pages.
(1999)
…break with the past…/Dead Time – split, CD
…break with the past… are a truly talentless trio of dudes. They suck. They play a style of music, nineties punk rock, badly and I do not even like this stuff in the first place but this is really bad. Their half of the record is poorly written, played and recorded. It would be totally devoid of any merit if it were not for the song “Father’s Day” and its lyrics: “I remember being ten my dad explained to me: ‘your mother, she provokes me and she knows I won’t hit her when she’s holding the baby’ and for quite some time every night, I’d wish for him to die, cause then everything would be all right”. Now that is funny. Dead Time is not much better. Their style of punk rock is faster and angrier but not enough to get excited over. The Minutemen used to wax philosophical about a time when punk rock would take over the world and there would be a band in every garage across America. I think that this CD is a product of that utopia vision and it is crap. Just because you want to make music does not mean that other people need to hear it.
(1999)
Grubby Ernie – S/T, 7”
It is not everyday that I am thanked in the notes of a record. Grubby Ernie thanks “everyone in the scene” on their record and since I am the scene, I appreciate the mention. The first side of this record is happy go lucky Fat Wreckchords styled punk by numbers by four college students who are probably chummy with some of the nerdier frat dudes at their school. No points. No harm. No foul. On side two of the record, things really take a turn for the worse. They start off the song “The Regal Has Landed” with what I am sure they think is a really cheeky send up of the AC/DC classic “T.N.T”. This sacrilege is followed by some tepid ska stylings that carry through to the end of the record. Bad. Bad. Bad. Boys, you really can’t fuck with AC/DC and get away with it. You have an enemy for life in Cleveland and, as a note to all would be rockers out there, if you can’t understand the power of AC/DC you really have no business listening to, let alone playing rock-n-roll. AC/DC, like the Wu Tang Clan, ain’t nothing to fuck with.
(1999)
Jakkpot/LES Stitches- “Electric Live” split, CD
The live recording is a waste of tape. There is one big exception, Mr. Ozzy Osborne, and that is solely based on his between song patter. Sample: “This one’s called ‘Flying High’ so keep smoking them joints” or “Is everybody out there high? Do you want to get high?” Judging this record based solely on the happy talk between songs, I would name Jakkpot the unqualified winner of this battle of the modern street punk bands. Rude-A mentions leather jackets, pogoing and broken glass. Mick of LES Stitches plugs the merchandise, requests adjustments in the monitors and plugs other performances- very not punk. Jakkpot play a raw version of old style punk rock. The dudes in the band look real old because of actual age or living a life on the streets or in the gutter. I don’t know. They look like my dad’s friends. They rock, though, and the quality of there set is not too shabby. LES Stitches’ nine songs have a lower sound quality, which is surprising, since it was recorded at the noted industry showcase club, Tramps in NYC. Doesn’t Bruce Springsteen jam at Tramps after his concert at the Garden is over? Are these guys posers? They certainly look like it with their Exploited haircuts and leather trousers. Bands from Manhattan suck. If you are like me and have never heard anything from Jakkpot or LES Stitches, this CD has both bands on it. Otherwise, it is a waste of digital binary coding.
(1999)
Mid Carson July – “Ten Years on Autopilot”, CD
Pretentious and way too precious liner notes aside, this record rocks. I am not interested in any bands ideas, feelings or declarations. Just give me the rock, man, save that other stuff for your punk rock encounter group. The record starts off with a pretty smoking and cleverly titled song, “The Truth About Liars”. The song is borderline standard emoish wining modern rock but this band’s redeeming factor seems to be an appreciation for the song writing anthem. Some of these songs could almost be classics for young people. The are mostly fast enough with plenty of punch. These guys know their way around a power pop compilation. The drummer, especially, cooks. The tracks clip along in a Cheap Trick or Attractions style. Good stuff. “Scout Modesty” is another good song that blends the rock of today with a sort of new wave of the eighties vibe. The real trick in writing decent music is somehow incorporating the ideas of the past with the flavor of today. Mid Carson July pull it off.
(1999)
The Jazz June – “They Love Those Who Make the Music”, CD
The Jazz June – “The Boom, the Motion and the Music”, CD
I do not know if these records are Canadian reissues of previously released material (the dates on the CDs are 1997 and 1998) or just records that got lost in the mail somehow. I did not get any promotional material, there is nothing in the packaging and I have not been previously hipped to the Jazz June. So, I am just going to have to wing it. “They Love Those Who Make the Music” opens auspiciously enough with “Low End Automatic”. The intro of song creates a sense of urgency that has me wanting more and noting that this is much cooler than I had thought it would be. The song segues into its heart, and the meat of this record, which is mid tempo modern rocking that has an equal debt to Sonic Youth, Seaweed and Superchunk. The structures of the songs are mildly atonal, the guitars are adequately dissonant and the vocals are sufficiently tuneless. The Jazz June’s creative aesthetic is very “indie” and contemporary. The disc moves along without me, the humble reviewer, getting bored but the tempos are not fast or hectic enough to get me really psyched. “Day 7” is as close as the Jazz June gets to a rager. I need more speed, please. “The Boom, the Motion and the Music” is a six-song mini LP featuring more of the same. It is really not fair to think that a band is going to radically progress from one record to the next. The Jazz June did not. The only song on this record to really grab me was “intro”. This instrumental song is the fourth song on the CD and is really not the introduction to anything. It has a more progressive edge to it and I think I like it more because I am really getting bored with the singer of this band. It is amazing to me how accepted this flat non-singing has become. I am not feeling it. The last track, “his statue falls”, has some interesting dynamic changes, guitar wailing and breaks. The Jazz June review ends on an up note.
(1999)
The Madcaps – “Cheers, hello…”, 7”
This is great- a German guy with a British accent. The Madcaps have a great band name and they know it. The title track goes “Cheers, hello we’re the Madcaps…” and then they spell the name of the group for added effect. Every band should be required to write a song with their band name featured in the lyrics. The music is seventies styled mid tempo punk rock. The Madcaps are comfortable using the word “wanker”. I had a strong sensation of déjà vu listening to this record. The cover of the Undertone’s “Teenage Kicks” (I’ve heard better) turned the déjà vu into “Oh yeah, I know who” real quick.
(1999)
The Misfires – “Dead End Expressway”, CD
It is noisy up-tempo Rickenbacher fueled punkish power pop ala the Jam. It is a short focused album. It is important to be able to do one thing well. It has tightly crafted well-written songs. It has spirit and energy. It is the young mod’s forgotten story. It has a song (“rock number one”) that is about rock-n-roll. It is like painting a picture of an artist painting. It is a documentary film about filmmaking. It is the type of music that is fun to play and ok to listen to when the record ends after only twenty-three minutes. It is the sound of a singer trying to decide whether or not he is going to sing in a British accent or not try to sing at all. It is good. And, hey, it is rock-n-roll.
(1999)
V/A – “The Got a Minute Compilation”, CD
Felix Frump, Power Pellets, The TuPacs, The Unknown, The Halflings, Lounge, Operation: Cliff Clavin, No Class, Suburban Core, Adam’s Alcoholics, Pig Pen, The Duttons and Racer Ten are all poppy punk and bad. Discount, Chalkline and 30 Helens are more of an indie rockish punk and bad. The Martians, The Clockouts, Egghead, Sister Raisin, FTB, Striped Bastards, Bippy and Churl are jokey pop punk and bad. The Bellrays are a bad rock-n-roll band. Headboard are awful white rap. Gunga Dins and Abalienation play fast hardcore and are good. Not only do you get a sucky compilation filled with crappy bands when you buy this disc but you also get a cost breakdown and defense addressed to his critics by the guy who put out this CD. He does not want anybody to think he is getting rich off of this. Don’t worry about it, dude, nobody thinks you are getting rich off of these bands.
(1999)
posted by Thea at 10:20 PM
October 11, 2002
The great thing about working late on Friday night is getting to look forward to going into work on Saturday the whole time that you are working after everybody already left for the day. I told those sons of bitches that I was only planning on making a courtesy appearence at the office and that was only because I am such a nice guy. Yeah, right. I don't want my whole day ruined by stupid bullshit that can be just as easily done on Monday. What the hell is going on with all this work? I have billed fifty hours already this week. I could have billed more if I would have not put my foot down on Wednesday for You Am I. That's not right.
So, let's check this week in review out for a second: Last Saturday I put in almost twelve hours finishing up the the collected work of my twenties project, on Sunday I drylocked the basement - spending the entire day sucking in deadly chemicals, I worked all those hours at the office, ran my four 5Ks and got all of my writing from this year in order (Do you remember the Diet Diaries?). This all happened while we got digital cable and high tech syntho sequency e-mail computer installed in the house - all for just twenty dollars more a month than we were paying for all that. My e-mail computer is now as fast as fuck and I get to see T.Rex's "20th Century Boy" video on "VH1 Classics" or some shit. Is it worth the extra money? You tell me.
Yes, the new television is calling. And so are my dudes. Maybe tomorrow I will have two seconds in a row to talk to somebody besides my fellow office workers. Let us pray.
By the way, I am tired. Damn tired. And the weight is falling off of me. The hippie diet has turned into the Starvation diet and we all know how well that works. I love to not eat, Ernie. Yeah? Not eating makes me feel good.
I wasn't going to look at the old writing until tomorrow but I got nervous and wanted to check and make sure that it was still there. This is a straggler press release I wrote for The Revelers/Quazimodo Christmas 1997 Grog Shop Show.
The Revelers, described as "like the Beach Boys with bad songwriting" (Punk Planet, Jan/Feb 98), and Quazimodo will team up for a Christmas night of total rock - n -roll action at the Grog Shop. Both bands, blind, half dumb, foolhardy, idealistic rock - n -roll purists by nature, continue to try to pump some life back into the rotting corpse of rock - n -roll. The Revelers will debut new material, reminiscent of bad Beach Boys songs, that will be featured on their next album, “Hard Times, Sunday Spirits”. The album is being released by New York independent spinART Records in March. As an added bonus, the group will be revealing the secrets of "how to get somebody else to pay for your band to make a record" between songs instead of their usual in between song patter.
(1997)
posted by Thea at 9:16 PM
October 10, 2002
I am back home – finally - after another long day at the office. It was a day of sleepwalking. It was a day of doing the job, thinking about the job and talking about the job. I am sickened by the job and sickened by me for working and dwelling on it. I think I am a smart guy. Why can’t I figure a way out of this?
I was autopilot all day. I was thinking about the rock and roll life that I used to live and how much I miss it. I was thinking that if I don’t lose these twelve hour days in the office soon, I am going to have a whole life of twelve hour days in the office ahead of my to look forward to and that is really nothing to look forward to. Really.
Overheard last night at the Beachland:
John Doobie: I am glad I’m not in a band anymore.
Me: Why?
John Doobie: No more half empty shows on a Wednesday night.
No, brother, the club was half full. And it sure as hell beat the alternative, which is life as it is now. I don’t want to hurt anybody feelings or get anybody mad at me for recounting this exchange. I try to let people stay anonymous. But it seemed important. The club was half full.
I feel as if I am about to be given a second chance on life.
This BLOG is total de jevu.
posted by Thea at 9:00 PM
October 8, 2002
Ambitious. Angry. Ambivalent.
I am driven by my ambition to make something of myself - more than office boy. I am an angry man who creates from the anger to make others angry. I am ambivalent (at best) when thinking about my fellow human beings. I am not a people person. People sicken me. So I think that as long as I am not attacking the loud cell phone guy on the bus, I am doing OK. As long as I keep to myself, then I am doing OK. But maybe I want to do more than OK. Maybe I want to do something good for once.
I have felt like crying for the past twenty four hours – thinking maybe I want to do something good with my life. Maybe I want to treat people better. Maybe I want to be kind. Maybe I want to care.
I remember the first time I did LSD back at Lollapalooza II. I cried. I wanted to be good. I told Kevunt that I wanted to be a better person. He told me that I should do that. And I didn’t.
I don’t ever pick on those who are normally picked on. I pick on those who normally do the picking. Maybe I don’t want to pick on anybody anymore. And I don’t just want to isolate myself as means of reacting to those around me. Maybe I want to try to help people. It is not enough. None of it.
Maybe I have worked twelve hours a day the last two days on no sleep. Maybe the only part of my day that was good was when I was running through the cold darkness of early morning. Maybe I am coming down with something.
I want to do better.
posted by Thea at 9:26 PM 