July 29, 2004

Getting worse.  Degeneration.  Winding down.  I see people.  People who are, for whatever reason, in bad shape.  It’s bad.  I think that the person is at the worst point in their life.  You know.  Rock bottom.  I try to imagine them in happier times.  When things were better.  Before all of the bad shit happened.  Before it got to this.  This being the worst.  Fast forward five years.  What if today was not so bad?  What if it gets worse?  As miserable as the current situation is, lets just say it might not be that bad depending on how far the person is going to sink.  You are almost dead.  But you will get closer.  Just think.  The horror of today might just be something you look back on with fondness.  Warm reminiscing.  If it does, indeed, get worse.

When I am feeling melancholy.  Like today.  I like to walk around the Super K or the Walmart and look at people.  Bittersweet Big Box.  I did that tonight with Laurie after we dropped off her sister’s kids.  I feel much better now.  I bought 18 new Fruit of the Loom t-shirts.  I will now throw out all my old ones.  Fresh start.  Very nice.  Very necessary.

Sleepy Kid is playing tomorrow with Boogie Man Smash at Cedars Lounge in Youngstown, OH.  If any of these words mean anything to you, then you know why I am excited.  If they mean nothing to you, then it really is not all that important.


posted by Thea at 10:34 PM

July 28, 2004

I don’t know why I was such a crab yesterday when I sat down to BLOG.  I was actually having a pretty good day.  Work was fine.  SK Power Trio practice went well.  I must have just been tired.  Or something.  Who knows.  I was not kidding about not wanting to dumb down to fit in anymore.  But I could have explained myself better.  I used attack stupidity.  I used to aggressively try to point out how the world was wrong.  I was in many grills.  I liked feeling smarter than everybody.  I was a jerk.  All of the time.  And then I did not have any friends.  For the last few years, I have broken my back to try to play nice and maybe get some people to hang out with me.  And it worked.  I have friends again.  But I have let me disappear into an overly agreeable nice guy who sits still while idiots are going on at mouth all of the time.  This happens mostly at work.  I don’t go off on anybody anymore.  I am not indignant.  I am not offended.  I just go with the flow and try to participate.  “No, I don’t watch whatever television program you are talking about but it sounds good.”  This was said by me in some variation at the office.  Man.  I suck.  I don’t want to fight with people and I really do believe that you should rock and let rock.  But I am not going to play dumb.  I read books.  I understand them.  I’m not going to hide that anymore.  Last thing.  Most people are stupid.  Really stupid.


posted by Thea at 5:38 PM

July 27, 2004

"I get drunk, I get mad, I get thrown from horses, I get all sorts of things.  But I don't get edited.  I'd rather see my wife get fucked by the stableboy." - William Faulkner

Is this an actual quote?  Does anybody know?  Because I believe it and I want to use it but I just want to make sure it is an actual quote before I go around quoting it.  I don’t know.  I could probably BLOG more but I don’t feel like it.  I also don’t feel like dumbing down my life anymore for the sake of fitting in but, really, I don’t feel like getting into it.  Maybe some other time.


posted by Thea at 9:49 PM

July 25, 2004

It was five years ago today that the Assholier than Thou Good Times Happy Friends Monday Morning Radio Show Starring Baby Fea (yea!) broadcast its first show.  It was a good idea borrowed from “Slobber” (mainly – just talking about nothing) and influenced on my end at least (I am sure that Thea would say that she has no influences at all but creates solely, freely and completely in the ultra light world that she inhabits in the confines of the Rocky River Compound) by Bill Cosby, Bill Hicks, Chris Elliot and considering the format of radio, Jackie the Jokeman era Howard Stern (the personal lives of the hosts being way more interesting than any guests or bits that they did) and 669 for the inspiration that a great show can be created inside of Rhodes Tower.  It was a good idea.  It still is.  It was funny.  It still is.  It has been five years and a couple of hundred shows.  Woah.  It kind of blows my mind to think about it.  And where are we five years later?  Pretty much exactly where we were five years ago.  Me about to start law school.  Again.  Me thinking that I would like to do something with music, writing or comedy.  Wondering.  Is this it?  Five years later and still doing all of those things and thinking that my life is pretty much my life.  I am sure that if you looked me up in five years, my life would still be the same.  Pretty much.  I am announcing it.  That has been the point of the last five years.  I was already living the life that I thought I was supposed to live.  Except not knowing it.  And now I know.  There is your point.  Thank you for listening.  Thank you to Baby Fea for being an excellent co-host.  Talk to you tomorrow.

posted by Thea at 9:38 PM